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Why I Didn’t Fear Change

They say time changes people.

I think its both time and experience linked together.

Something has changed within me, something is not the same.

I noticed there was something different about me. I didn’t want to admit it at first but it was slowly showing. In the past few days, I spend my time solemnly writing blog posts and enjoying every minute of it. All the stress and frustrations I have right now are fading away when I start writing. Maybe this is my coping mechanism. You see, I never really had big dreams for my blog. My only goal before was just to share anything bookish related but as time went by I realized that I have more to offer than this. So I tried branching out and made my blog into an all-around one. Whenever I find something interesting to write about, I give it a try and post on my site. If my readers find it interesting and my stats are growing, maybe I’m doing the right thing. Blogging was never a priority to me before. I was a “bookstagrammer” during its wee days. I share photos of my current read, monthly book hauls and wrap-ups. But I came to a conclusion after one conversation I had with my aunt.

Me: “When I was in uni, I had all the time and leisure to read books. I can read 1-2 books a day and even write reviews afterwards. But now, I simply don’t have the time even though my schedule is almost the same.”

 I had a schedule in uni for 7:30 am to 4:30 pm plus 2-3 hours of traffic on the way home. God bless Philippine traffic.

Aunt: “Maybe its not your priority anymore.”

Her answer made me think and blink twice.

She’s right.

It’s so hard to admit. I have always been in love with reading. But yes, right now it’s not my priority anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I still long for my books but there’s this feeling where I don’t feel connected to every book I read anymore. I often read but it’s not the same way as before. Life happened. My reading preferences has changed and I became pickier with the books I want to read. My hoarding of YA and new release days are over. I think I am more laid back now. No pressure in finishing my Goodreads challenge and no more FOMO over the latest books! I may deactivate or say goodbye to my bookstagram account for good. I know it will be a huge decision for me to make since this is where it all began. I met the best of friends there and it helped me go out of my shell and see the world.

I won’t be regretting any of my decisions, I don’t want to live a life full of regrets.

As of today, I am more focused with my blog and sharing my thoughts with my readers. My aim as a blogger is to inspire and influence others. Make them appreciate and value their lives, to live passionately and to be fearless because the world needs a wonderful human being like you. I want to create more content that can be both helpful and informative. I am not here for the likes or gaining thousands of followers. Those two things can ruin your life if you let it eat you alive. There’s no right and wrong in life especially when it comes to where you want to go. You are your own navigator, you tell your ship where it should go but the waves and the current are life’s challenges. It will lead you somewhere but it’s up to you how you will handle the situation. In the end your success doesn’t involve how many island you visited or how many treasure chest you found. Your success lies on the things you have learned along the way. 

Sometimes people are scared of change. They just want to be stuck in a situation where they are comfortable. Don’t let comfortable be your goal. It can be a haunting word because we can never escape it. Rather than being afraid of it. Why don’t you challenge change and consider it as your mentor. You will never get stuck in just one moment you’ll eventually move forward, if you allow it to.

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26 Comments

  1. I love this post Nicka. I can relate to it so much. Change is a constant presence in our lives and adapting to it is what makes life interesting–resisting will only make us miserable. I am sorry that you are considering leaving the bookstagram community but if that’s what you think is the right decision for you then you should do it. You do you.

  2. Always great to go for it. I’m inspired by this to always remember why I blog. Don’t lose site of that and you can face any challenge and any change.

  3. Ahhhh, I love this post! Nicka, I can totally relate on this. I still love to read, but I know something has changed. Before, all I do is read during my free time, but now, I only read when I feel like I want to. I’ve set 40 books to read on my 2018 goodreads reading challenge and I am so far away from reaching it, I’ve only read 8 books this year so far and unlike before, I don’t feel any pressure. I don’t feel any guilt at all which is so unlike me. I haven’t been so active lately with my bookstagram and blog. I feel like I am losing my mojo to do the things I used to do for bookstagram community. You’re right, our priorities change along the way. 🙂

  4. I’m already loving these blog posts! When I first started bookstagram in 2014, I had so much fun interacting with the people of the community. Taking photos was something I already loved doing but I didn’t know how to do more creative and aesthetically pleasing photos so I would only post every now and then until I decided to stop altogether in 2016 since it was my busiest year in college. I only came back to the community recently since I now have the time to take more photos, read, and do something I loved again. (Wow, that was a long one .)

  5. I love this post! I completely understand that feeling as I have been there as well a few times. It’s great that you are accepting this instead of attempting to hang onto a life that doesn’t fit you anymore. It can be tough to leave your comfort zone when life is giving you signs that it is time for a change but it’s always worth it.

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