It’s 8:45 in the evening, I’m sitting on my bed looking outside my window. The bright lights flickering like there’s no tomorrow. The sound of cars passing by feels like a silent song of the night. I’m trying to look farther hoping that I might see something different, something that I haven’t seen before but I guess tonight is no different. It’s one of those same nights where I sleep with a heavy heart not knowing what the real reason behind this sadness is.
One year. 365 days have gone by.
As the year ends, we close doors that need to be shut. Keep it locked if needed. We look back at how we handled all our struggles and survived the past year. Every day we forced ourselves to get out of bed, do the same routine over and over. It felt like we’re in a never-ending cycle of life.
Within this year I’ve learned a lot. It’s not like any other year, this year has opened my eyes and broke me all at once. It showed me situations that I thought I wasn’t going to overcome but here I am a little wiser than ever before.
We should be more aware of what’s really worth our energy. It’s true that somehow I wasted my time on nonsense things in the past. I wasted my energy and effort on something that I knew wasn’t going to benefit me in the end. I learned about this at work, how I didn’t let stress affect my job. I was more focused on my tasks and knew better how to rank my priorities.
Be sad, feel it but never let it consume you. It’s ok to be sad. I can’t mention this enough. It’s okay for us to feel our emotions, to let it out once in a while. But we should always remember not to dwell on it. Don’t let it consume the brightness inside you.
Learn to move on. It’s the same as being aware of what’s worth your energy and letting our emotions take over us. I know it hurts until now and I know you can’t forget about it. But it’s clear as day that it’s NEVER going to happen anymore. The story that you’ve wanted is not for you. That story is not for you. I learned this the hard way but I don’t regret anything. Try to start once more and never be afraid of starting over again.
Don’t be scared to love and be loved. How can I describe love? It’s a single word but it conveys thousands of emotions. May it be your love for your friends, family or that special someone. Don’t fear love itself, don’t be scared to let someone know that you care for them. It’s all or nothing. You’ll never know when you’re going to see them again.
My mental health is important. I’ve become more aware of how important my mental health is. How it affects my everyday work and how I interact with people. So I make it to a point to really take care of myself.
Inner peace and self-acceptance are essential. Unnecessary drama and validation from unnecessary people are not healthy. You yourself should accept who you truly are. Accept your flaws and your insecurities (yes, we all have it). Try to make peace with yourself, it’s hard to battle your inner demons.
Tolerating toxicity is a big NO. It’s like removing the bad from the good. If it’s not bringing positivity in your life. Cut it off. You don’t have to explain anything. It’s true that I’ve been the “toxic” person in a situation. I’m not ashamed nor embarrassed about it. I know I’ve wronged some people and I’m sorry about it. I acknowledged my mistakes and learned from them.
There’s some moment when you feel like you’re about to give up. Nothing’s wrong with giving up. It’s okay to quit, to say that you’ve had enough. It’s okay to lose some of your battles, winning isn’t everything. Always remember that every hard battle fought comes great and immense wisdom learned.
I’m leaving things that need to be left in the past year. Thank you for the lost friendships and missed opportunities. Thank you for the strength that this year gave me and the wisdom I gained. Thank you for the tears that watered my soul in order for it to grow. I’m grateful for what happened to me this year. Good or bad, whatever it is, it became part of who I am today. Let’s start 2020 in good spirit. Together let’s reach our goals and uplift each other. No one’s going to be left behind.
I will welcome 2020 with an open heart and mind to more adventures and heartaches. No matter what life throws at me I’ll make sure that I will stand strong.